


a small planet and his star

by vitasoy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuaka - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Fukurodani Wins Nationals, Fukuroudani, M/M, POV Akaashi Keiji, Pining, Pining Akaashi Keiji, akaashi is simping, except 392
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24265963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitasoy/pseuds/vitasoy
Summary: Stuck in Bokuto’s orbit for over two years, Akaashi finally, for the first time, stopped holding back, and succumbed to Bokuto’s unwavering draw. Tonight, just for tonight, Akaashi allowed himself to fall in love.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 20
Kudos: 132





	a small planet and his star

**13 : 14  
Kamomedai High School : Fukurōdani Academy  
**

The referee’s whistle was shrill, piercing through the deafening cheers and rhythmic chants that surrounded Akaashi. It was finally here. The year’s worth of hard work—extended practices that ran until his knees buckled, aching fingers and muscles that set up for spike after spike, injuries that barely had the chance to heal—had all led up to here. The last tournament. The last game. The last set. The last point (hopefully).

The whistle sounded again, signalling Sarukui’s next serve and kicking off another relentless rally. Each side was uncompromising, but both teams’ ruthless attacks simply refused to touch the floor. Victory was so close that he could taste it in the air and now, it was more important than ever for each player to be at the top of their game. But Akaashi was wary of the desperation and fatigue that loomed over them. Usually, after this many failed spikes, Akaashi knew that Bokuto would be starting to lose his temper. But today was different. He was completely focussed without any trace of irritation, fixated only on chasing the next point. The last point. A chance ball floated back over the net and Akaashi prepared to set, following Komi’s expert receive, heart and fingers already certain of the ball’s destination.

“Akaash’, give it to me!”

Akaashi smiled, amused at the prospect of even considering sending it anywhere else. “Bokuto-san!” he called, setting up the same way he had thousands of times before.

 _Ah, that one felt good._ He knew it in his gut—this would be the last one. The last time he set up a ball for Bokuto. The last few moments they would share a court together.

And so he savoured it. He watched as Bokuto’s muscular legs propelled his body high above the net, back arched and arm raised, preparing to strike. Eyes trained on the ball, Bokuto was only looking forwards, upwards. His perfect form was showered in the fluorescent stadium lights, and Akaashi thought that Bokuto had never glowed brighter than now, floating in the air as if weightless. He heard the thunderous impact as the ball made its mark on the opponent’s court, just out of reach of the diving receivers. He felt a warmth burst in his chest, and suddenly he was in junior high again, watching Bokuto play for the very first time. He was awestruck, eyes refusing to leave Bokuto’s figure as he landed, stumbling a little before regaining his balance. Panting and covered in sweat, Akaashi thought that Bokuto was still dazzling. Stunning. Beautiful.

The whistle blew.

Before he could register, a cheer erupted from Akaashi’s throat and he ran towards his teammates, fists pumping in celebration. It was over. They had won the Spring Nationals. He was happy, of course he was, but he couldn’t stop himself from remembering the finality of it all. Some small part of him wished that the last set would push into deuces, so that he could play just a bit longer, stand on the court just a bit longer, stay by Bokuto’s side just a bit longer. But no, that was the last time he would set for Bokuto. He squeezed his hands, engraving the sensation into them.

“Hey hey hey, Akaashi! Wasn’t that a good spike? Did you see it? Wasn’t I super cool?” Bokuto yelled from his spot, raised like a trophy high above the shoulders of Konoha and Sarukui.

Akaashi was snapped from his daze by the familiar boisterous voice. “Of course, Bokuto-san. You were amazing, as always.”

Bokuto beamed, eyes crinkling until they disappeared, and Akaashi hoped that it would not be the last time he smiled for him.

  
*******

The rest of the year flew by quickly. Akaashi was named the next captain, as expected, and the third years finally retired, though with how much they still hung around during practices, this change was barely noticeable. Akaashi put all his energy into cultivating the younger players and syncing his sets with them, but he couldn’t shut out the voice in his head that commented after every spike. “Nice kill!” he would say, plastering a smile on his face, _but you’ll never be Bokuto-san_. No one else could ever be Bokuto-san. It was when the graduation ceremony came to an end that it all settled in—the year was ending, the third years were leaving. Bokuto was leaving.

Akaashi watched as Washio, Sarukui, Komi, Konoha, and Bokuto walked out from the assembly hall, diplomas in hand. They were laughing, arms draped across each others’ shoulders, enjoying their last few moments of high school. For once, Bokuto’s tie was knotted properly (with Konoha’s help) and all buttons were fastened. His energy was not dampered by the pristine uniform, however, as he ran around the school yard, evading other families and Konoha’s punches, trying to catch the falling sakura petals in his mouth as if they were snowflakes. Akaashi set out towards them, long legs closing the gap with quick strides, and wrapped his arms around each of them in turn. He thanked them for their guidance in the club and, despite his own doubts, vowed to bring back another trophy for the team next year.

“Of course you will! There’s a much better captain now.” Bokuto remarked, grin wide as ever on his face and, Akaashi suspected, probably a full branch’s worth of petals on his tongue. His golden eyes were vivid and sincere as he held his arms open expectantly. Akaashi did not keep him waiting, melting into the taller boy’s embrace without hesitation. He forced himself to memorize it all. The warmth of Bokuto’s body and the sturdiness of his chest, his arms. The ripples of muscle under his wrinkled school blazer. The solid pats on Akaashi’s back that were borderline painful and knocked the breath from his lungs. The tickle of Bokuto’s stiff gelled hair against his cheek. The scent he could catch from his neck, a strange yet endearing mixture of pine and citrus shampoo that stood out against the blossoming fragrance falling around them.

Would this be the last time he hugs Bokuto?

“Ah, but good luck finding another ace as good as me! Aren’t I the best, Akaashi?” Bokuto’s voice rumbled, and Akaashi could feel the vibrations echo through his own body.

“Yes. Of course, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi’s eyes watered, and he told himself that the pollen was to blame.

  
*******

On most days, the rhythmic ticking of the clock on Akaashi’s wall relaxed and lulled him to sleep, but tonight, it seemed to mock the boy as he tossed and turned in bed, his mind still running restlessly.

3:22 AM, it displayed.

Akaashi groaned, shifting again in search of a comfortable position. Try as he might, sleep would not find him. No matter how tightly he screwed his eyes shut, he would be greeted by the sight of Bokuto’s untucked shirt, loose tie, and open top button. The sight of Bokuto waiting at the school gates for him with his bag strap hung on his head, a radiant smile stretched across his face. The sight of Bokuto skipping into the second year’s classroom to join him for lunch with a yakisoba bun in hand. The sight of Bokuto running towards the net, calling his name for another toss. The sight of Bokuto’s broad back as he soared towards the ball. The sight of Bokuto’s grin as he received another compliment from Akaashi. The sight of Bokuto.

Suddenly, Akaashi’s phone buzzed from his bedside table and interrupted his reverie. Grabbing the device and squinting against the painfully bright screen, he read the incoming caller ID. _Bokuto-san._

He quickly answered, “Bokuto-san, what are you doing awake at this hour? You should be sleeping.”

A stunned silence was followed by a sheepish chuckle, “Sorry Akaash’, did I wake you?” Bokuto’s voice was soft and devoid of his usual hyper energy.

“No, it’s fine, I couldn’t really fall asleep anyway. Why did you call?” Akaashi answered quietly, careful not to disturb his mother who was sleeping just a thin wall away.

Bokuto hummed, thinking, “I don’t know, I just had a lot on my mind, you know?”

Akaashi knew exactly what he meant, though he doubted the thoughts occupying Bokuto’s mind were as pitiful as his own, and nodded instinctively. “Of course, what have you been thinking about?”

“Oh, nothing specific really. I guess I was just reflecting… about graduation and everything, ” Bokuto answered, words beginning to speed up into a ramble as he attempted to outline his thought process, “and at first I thought I was going into one of my moods again ‘cause I just had so many emotions, but then there wasn’t a reason, you know? And it felt different. So I thought nah, that’s not it but what was it then? And I didn’t know what to do and you were always the one who could make me feel better so I decided to call.”

Akaashi was shocked and more pleased than he cared to admit that he was the first solution Bokuto had thought of.

Hearing Akaashi’s lack of response, Bokuto continued after a heaving sigh, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have called. Sorry to disturb you, Akaashi! You should go back to bed.”

“No no! It’s quite alright, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi quickly cut in before Bokuto could hang up on him. A silence settled between the boys, though not entirely uncomfortable, it was certainly uncommon for the pair. Akaashi’s mind was whirring, how could he help Bokuto feel better if there wasn’t a reason for his mood? He was an expert in dealing with it on the court, but off court, he was completely lost.

“Bokuto-san?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s go for a walk.” Akaashi proposed, telling himself that he was doing this so that Bokuto could feel better and they could both go to bed in peace. This was absolutely not for himself.

“Huh??” Bokuto’s shock was to be expected, “At this hour, Akaashi?”

“Yes, if you’re willing.” Akaashi sat up and, as quietly as he could, began throwing on a sweater and grabbing his keys, already knowing Bokuto’s response.

“Oh! Ok!” Bokuto’s voice perked up and Akaashi could hear shuffling on the other side of the line, “Where should we meet?”

“Just wait there, I’ll be there in 25.”

  
*******

Tracing the familiar route to Bokuto’s apartment, Akaashi did not slow down to admire Tokyo’s night view. Before the slight chill that gripped the city in the sun’s absence could pierce his thin sweater, Akaashi arrived at the building and saw Bokuto standing at the entrance, waiting for him.

Akaashi already had many sights of Bokuto carved into his memory, but that doesn’t stop his breath from catching in his throat when he sees him. It was a rare sight, one that could only be witnessed at the overnight summer training camps or major away tournaments. His usual spiked hair was left in its natural form, tousled and soft. It draped over his forehead, poking into his amber eyes. Akaashi wanted to run his fingers through the black and white locks and brush the strands away. Bokuto’s energetic presence was subdued, wrapped in a large, worn-in black hoodie and grey sweatpants that pooled slightly at his ankles. Akaashi held in a snicker when he noticed the older boy’s fuzzy owl-patterned socks, barely covered by his white Asics slides.

He hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time he sees Bokuto like this.

“Hey hey hey! Akaash’, you’re early.” Bokuto took a hand out of his hoodie pouch and waved lazily. His signature greeting was almost unrecognizable when delivered without the expected enthusiasm.

Akaashi cocked an eyebrow, intrigued by Bokuto’s state. He was right, this wasn’t anything like the regular emo mood. “Hello Bokuto-san.”

“It’s not like you to suggest such a crazy idea, Akaashi.” Bokuto commented, walking towards the dark haired boy. His slides slapped lightly against the pavement with strides that lacked the typical bounce. “Where should we go?”

“I didn’t have a specific destination in mind. Let’s just walk around and we can both clear our heads. Does that sound alright?”

“Yup, just lead the way, Captain!”

Words were few and far in between as the boys walked side by side through the quiet streets of Tokyo, simply enjoying each other’s company. A car would pass once in a while, and Bokuto would comment quietly on its bizarre colour, or theorize about where the driver was going at this time of day, before getting distracted by another peculiar shop then falling back into silence. Akaashi tried to gauge Bokuto’s state, from his current body language to everything that happened earlier that day, but couldn’t find an explanation for what could have triggered this curious condition. Was there a #38 that he had not previously noticed?

The air was chilly with lingering traces of winter, and Akaashi shivered. He rubbed his hands together, breathing hot air onto his quickly numbing fingers.

“Akaashi, you should have brought a thicker jacket. You’ll catch a cold like that.” Bokuto reprimanded, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“Yes, you’re right. That was a miscalculation on m-”

“Give me your hand.” Bokuto’s right hand, previously tucked comfortably in his own hoodie pocket, was now extended towards Akaashi, palm open, waiting.

Akaashi was taken aback, and suddenly the air was no longer so cold. “It’s fine, Bokuto-san. It’s not that bad.” he defended, struggling to keep his voice level.

Unsatisfied with the answer, Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s hand anyway, tucking it alongside his own into his hoodie pouch. He gave a low whistle and chuckled, “It’s pretty bad, Akaash’. Your fingers are like icicles!”

Akaashi couldn’t respond, his brain short circuiting and heat burning in his chest, up his neck, and to his ears. He could hear his own heartbeat and briefly wondered if Bokuto could feel the quickened pulse at his wrist. Bokuto’s hand was hot against his own, and Akaashi worried he might catch on fire right then and there. His fingers were shorter than Akaashi’s, but thicker and stronger. His grip was firm but gentle, and his thumb rubbed small circular motions on Akaashi’s knuckles in an attempt to restore temperature back into them. His palm was calloused from years of training, and Akaashi could faintly feel a bandaid on the pointer finger. Akaashi frowned, scolding himself for not noticing the injury before. What’s that from? Was he trying to cook again? Or was it from practice? Or a silly injury from another stupid stunt?

Akaashi dared to hope that this wouldn’t be the last time Bokuto held his hand.

“Akaashi.” Bokuto addressed, suddenly more solemn than before.

He hummed in response, choosing to focus on the passing billboard, advertising a new line of moisturizers, instead of how closely they were now walking. Every few steps, their shoulders would bump and Akaashi would forget to breathe.

“You probably already saw this coming, but I’m going to pursue volleyball professionally.”

Of course Akaashi knew, he couldn’t have missed the number of scouts that approached Bokuto and the coach after each game. “That’s great, Bokuto-san. You’ll be amazing. Any team would be lucky to have you.” he said earnestly, and quietly celebrated at how even his voice sounded.

Bokuto didn’t respond. Was this what triggered his mood? Was he nervous now that he’ll be stepping onto a higher level?

“I’m happy for you.” Akaashi continued.

Bokuto paused mid-stride, pulling Akaashi to a stop with him. Then, Akaashi couldn’t be sure if his overheated brain had imagined it, but he felt Bokuto clutch his hand even tighter than before. Akaashi tried to meet his eyes, understand what was going on with the older boy. But the same Bokuto, who Akaashi knew always looked forwards, upwards, kept his gaze glued on the sidewalk, eyes hidden behind his shaggy hair. His jaw was clenched, as if struggling to keep words from escaping his mouth.

“Bokuto-san? What’s wrong? Should we go back?” The growing silence quickly became nerve wracking.

Then, with a voice so quiet that Akaashi could barely hear the words, Bokuto confessed, “But it won’t be the same without you on the court with me.”

Bokuto was always spontaneous, but over the two years they spent together, Akaashi had learned to anticipate his antics, no matter how eccentric. But this. This was certainly not a possibility Akaashi had considered. To him, Bokuto was always the star, illuminating the way to victory, and Akaashi was just a small planet, trapped in his orbit, following behind but always at a careful distance. All Akaashi had to do was deliver an ordinary set to him, and he was the one with the ability to make it into something extraordinary. Undeniably, planets needed their stars. For light. For warmth. For direction. But Akaashi had never once allowed himself to consider that perhaps, from among the dozens of other planets that encircled his star, he would stand out as anything more than ordinary.

“You always gave the best tosses, Akaashi.” Bokuto finally looked up, yellow eyes meeting Akaashi’s. He relaxed, tension visibly dropping from his shoulders, and his eyes were vulnerable, painted over with a layer of melancholy. He smiled, not the wide, mischievous grin Akaashi was used to seeing, but a small, almost timid, curve of his lips. Barely illuminated by street lamps and neon store signs, Akaashi thought that he looked just as dazzling and beautiful as he did on the centre court.

The warmth in Akaashi’s chest swelled. _It’s only because you always make them count, Bokuto-san,_ he wanted to argue, but knew that any attempt would be futile. “Thank you, Bokuto-san. That means a lot to me.” Akaashi smiled, hoping to convey the gratitude he couldn’t even begin to explain with words.

Seemingly re-energized after the brief exchange, Bokuto grinned back. “Wow! Thanks Akaashi! I knew it! You’re amazing! I feel so much better now!” his voice was louder than necessary, considering the proximity between the two boys, but Akaashi’s ears had come to expect this. Though he was still uncertain what triggered the strange mood, Akaashi was glad that the taller boy recovered so effortlessly. Bokuto, with his default setting of 120%, always looked forwards and upwards, rarely sparing a glance at the path on which he trekked. But when he stumbled on a rock that went unnoticed, he didn’t need to cry alone any longer, because Akaashi, as steady as the earth under him, would always be there to pick him back up. _Don’t let this be the last time I can be there for him,_ Akaashi pleaded.

Akaashi continued in the direction they were headed, tugging lightly on Bokuto’s hand, and the older boy followed a couple of steps before interrupting, “Woah woah, Akaash’! We should probably go back. I’m all good now, thanks to you, and I don’t want to waste your sleep more than I already have!” he said, a twinge of guilt seeping through. “I don’t want you to get sick either!”

“It’s not that cold anymore,” Akaashi stated plainly. It was true, dawn was approaching and the frosty winds slowly thawed, but Akaashi had no intention of removing his revived hand from Bokuto’s. The simple thought of letting go and returning home alone left Akaashi shivering more than the cold ever could. He knew that, with a rational mind, he would have readily agreed with Bokuto’s suggestion and parted ways, even if this was the last time they met. Even if he wanted more. But maybe it was the sudden confidence he gained from Bokuto’s acknowledgement, or the hand that was gripping his own, or the shoulder that he bumped every few seconds. Or maybe it was how soft Bokuto’s eyes were just a few seconds ago when they looked into his, or how uniquely intimate and vulnerable and impulsive and reckless the entire situation was, spending 4:00AM in the middle of the city with someone he holds dear. Whatever it was, Akaashi found it in himself to say, “And I want to spend more time with you.”

His ears burned as he waited for a response, and was soon met with Bokuto’s hearty chuckle. “If you say so, Akaash’!”

The sun had not yet risen, but Akaashi had all the sun he could ever need right next to him.

  
*******

“Akaashi~!” Bokuto whined as the younger boy stepped away from the swing set. His motion slowly came to a stop with the absence of Akaashi’s gentle hand pushing him higher. Akaashi turned back as he took a sip from his still chilled Pocari Sweat, a recent purchase the pair made at the 7-Eleven down the block, and noticed Bokuto’s limbs entangled in the toddler’s swing seat that was definitely much too small for a soon-to-be professional volleyball player. “I’m stuck…” he said sheepishly.

Putting the bottle on the ground and shaking off the drips of condensation from his slender fingers, Akaashi freed up both hands and prepared to heave Bokuto out of the child-sized seat. “Bokuto-san, I told you that it’d be too small for you.” Akaashi disguised his fond chuckle with an exasperated sigh.

“Yeah, but it was fun!” Bokuto defended, “Thanks for pushing me, Akaash’.”

Akaashi quietly hummed in acknowledgement. He hooked his arms under Bokuto’s, wrapping around his chest, and lifted carefully. He was too distracted by Bokuto’s back pressing against his own chest to realize that the elder had already escaped the seat’s cage and was standing firmly on the ground. Akaashi quickly let go, chest and arms already missing the brief contact. He picked up his drink again, chugging quickly to cool down the burning on his face. _That was embarrassing,_ he thought, and quietly thanked the darkness that concealed the pink hue of his ears.

“Akaashi! Let me push you this time!” Bokuto offered, gesturing slyly at the seat that he had barely dislodged himself from.

Akaashi shook his head vigorously, “Nuh uh, no way. With you pushing I think I would fly all the way out of Japan.”

Bokuto pouted, pink lips jutting out in disappointment. Akaashi found himself staring at them and unable to look away even as they formed the next words, “You don’t trust me, Akaashi?”

“Of course I trust you, Bokuto-san, just not with pushing me on a kid’s swing.”

“Fine…” Bokuto admitted his defeat, walking out of the playground towards wherever their next destination would be. He fiddled with his empty Pocari Sweat bottle, peeling off the plastic wrapping before something else caught his eye along the sidewalk. “Hey Akaashi! What about that?” Akaashi followed Bokuto’s finger, pointed towards his new object of interest-

“A shopping cart?”

“Yeah! Let me push you in the shopping cart! It’ll be like an amusement park ride!” Bokuto’s excitement built with every word until he was practically vibrating in his spot.

With a rational mind, Akaashi would have refused again. Who knows what had been in the cart before him? As far as he knew, animals or even homeless people could have pissed all over it. But seeing Bokuto’s shiny pleading eyes, Akaashi couldn’t find the strength to say no twice in a row.

“Ok.” Akaashi agreed, walking towards the cart. Bokuto followed, after overcoming the initial shock of hearing Akaashi agree to one of his ridiculous shenanigans, and held the cart steady as his kouhai climbed in.

Akaashi’s eyelids were heavy, but his head buzzed with energy. His long legs were folded awkwardly in the cramped space and as he shifted, trying to find a comfortable position, the metal cage dug uncomfortably into his back and butt.

Bokuto’s voice echoed from above, “Ready?”

Even without seeing his face, Akaashi could picture the childish glee that radiated from him. He nodded, curling his fingers around the sides of the cart to brace himself against whatever Bokuto had in store.

“Let’s go then!” Bokuto blasted off in a sprint, and despite Akaashi’s preparations, his heart still shot up into his throat. His knuckles turned white as he held on for dear life. The rusty wheels of the shopping cart squeaked and rumbled as they tore down the concrete sidewalk, each imperfection in the surface jolting and bruising to Akaashi’s tailbone. He wanted to yell, remembering why he promised himself to never board another roller coaster again at the age of 9, but instead, a laugh escaped his throat. It was fun, he couldn’t deny. The thrill and adrenaline rush that Akaashi never had a taste for, at 5:48 AM, suddenly became something he craved. With the sound of the wind whistling by and Bokuto’s slides slapping on the concrete as he launched them forwards, the quiet streets slowly blurred into the background and the only things in Akaashi’s world became Bokuto and himself.

He tilted back and took in Bokuto’s features. His skin gleamed with a thin layer of perspiration, his eyebrows were creased in concentration, and his tongue stuck out from between his lips. Akaashi wanted to stop his sprint and berate him for the gesture, knowing it would eventually lead to him biting his own tongue if he stumbled even a little, but he said nothing. Tonight, he would allow himself to simply have a good time and enjoy Bokuto’s company.

A park came into view and Bokuto’s sprint slowly came to a stop as he fought to catch his breath. “How was… that… Akaash’?” Bokuto managed to ask between pants, resting some of his weight onto the shopping cart’s handles and leaning over to search Akaashi’s eyes for approval.

“It was fun, Bokuto-san. Thank you for pushing.” Akaashi smiled gratefully.

“Anytime, Akaashi! As long as you enjoyed it.” Bokuto gave another toothy grin.

The sky was beginning to brighten, and Akaashi knew the night was ending. His time with Bokuto was ending. He wanted to tighten his fist around it, keep it from escaping, but he knew it would be pointless. All he could do was add this night, this magical night, to the scrapbook of countless other memories they shared together. Akaashi could only hope that five or ten or even more years from now, he would still be able to recall this evening down to the smallest details. The feeling of the material on the inside of Bokuto’s hoodie pocket. The drinks Bokuto had been struggling to choose between at the convenience store. The colour of the swing set Bokuto sat on. The wheel on the shopping cart that was especially stiff.

“The sun’s coming up, Akaashi. Let’s go watch the sunrise.”

“Ok.”

Akaashi used Bokuto’s offered hand to stabilize himself and find his footing as he climbed out, and the pair abandoned the cart on the sidewalk as they strolled into the park. Neither let go of the other’s hand. They found a bench in front of the river that cut through the park and took a seat just as the first hues of orange bled from the horizons. They admired the view in silence, save for the occasional breath of “wow” from both boys.

Time was passing too fast, but simultaneously felt stationary. The world was still, the mellow orange ignited into piercing white, the wind caressed Akaashi’s cheek, Bokuto’s hand was warm in his palm. The bottomless black of the sky gave away to a delicate blue, the clouds burned pinks and purples as they drifted, the river glittered a broken reflection of the skyline above, and the sun finally showed its face.

It must’ve hurt to stare at the sun so directly, but that didn’t stop Bokuto. He looked forwards, eyes unyielding and wide with a pure, child-like fascination, absorbing all the colours of dawn. It didn’t stop Akaashi, either. The horizon was a magnificent, ever-changing painting, but reflected in Bokuto’s eyes, Akaashi thought that it seemed even brighter and more lively. The coral rays hugged Bokuto’s features, curving over his round nose, his high cheekbones, his lips that were slightly open in awe, his sharp chin, his Adam’s apple. It sparkled from his duo-toned hair, his long, silver eyelashes, the sheen of sweat that had not completely dried. Akaashi didn’t want this to be the last time he sees Bokuto’s light.

“It’s beautiful.” Bokuto whispered.

Akaashi followed the movement of Bokuto’s lips, “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Bokuto turned to him, and Akaashi wondered if his retinas would be permanently damaged from staring at the sun. “Akaashi.”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?” Their eyes met, and for the first time, Akaashi noticed brown flecks dotted across Bokuto’s golden irises. His expression was unreadable, and Akaashi felt the grip of his pull stronger than ever. He knew he was delirious from hours of lost sleep, he knew that the rational mind that he left on his cold, empty bed would chastise him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he finally gave in. Stuck in Bokuto’s orbit for over two years, Akaashi finally, for the first time, stopped holding back, and succumbed to Bokuto’s unwavering draw. Tonight, just for tonight, Akaashi allowed himself to fall in love.

Before Akaashi could register what he was doing, Bokuto’s lips had met his in the middle. A familiar warmth blossomed in Akaashi’s chest as he let go of Bokuto’s hand, reaching up to cup his cheek. His other hand threaded into the soft strands he had been yearning to touch, gathering them between his fingers. Their lips molded together and danced in harmony, almost as well practiced as their plays on court had been. Akaashi could faintly feel Bokuto’s hands land on his waist, but his feverish brain could only focus on mapping Bokuto’s mouth. He memorized the softness of the tongue that met his own, the grooves on the roof of his mouth, the right bottom canine that stood slightly in front of the other teeth, the lingering taste of Pocari Sweat. In that moment, Akaashi realized that after all, planets have their own pull too. Smaller, and almost insignificant compared to a star’s, but still there nonetheless.

Akaashi’s brain was foggy and all thoughts were long gone when he finally stopped to breathe. Bokuto gasped for air and Akaashi paused to take in his appearance. His hair was disheveled, his lips were swollen, red, and glossy with saliva. His pupils were dilated, irises reduced to a thin gold band, and his cheeks were flushed. The warmth in Akaashi’s chest surged as he added a new favourite sight of Bokuto to his memory.

Behind them, the sun had fully risen.

“The sun’s up, we should head back.” Akaashi stated, having caught his breath. He wiped his own mouth and checked his hair for any strands out of place. He stood up, waist and hands already aching from the loss of contact. He looked at the river with determination, keeping his gaze away from Bokuto, because he couldn’t bear to see it for himself, the sight of his clear yellow eyes tainted by regret. Akaashi was disappointed by his own selfishness, but given the chance, he would’ve made the exact same decision. Bokuto couldn’t be his, and he should have known better than to ever even hope for that. He was a star, and for two years Akaashi was able to stay by his side, but now, he was going somewhere Akaashi can’t follow. He shouldn’t be jealous, he was in no place to feel something like that, but Akaashi couldn’t help but envy the setters that would replace him. The ones who could deliver extraordinary tosses, the ones who could make ordinary hitters into spectacular ones. He knew that they were the ones who could bring out Bokuto’s full potential, while he only managed to showcase a mere fraction of it. Bokuto was meant to be unrestrained and free, because he would always be pushing forwards, upwards, without sparing another glance. Akaashi knew that someone like him could never hope to keep up with that pace.

The trek back to Bokuto’s apartment was smothered with a heavy silence, and Akaashi continued to avoid Bokuto’s eyes. Their shoulders didn’t bump, their fingers didn’t graze. Akaashi kept his hands tucked into his sleeves. Once they reached the bottom of the building, Akaashi mumbled a quiet farewell, finding a crack on the pavement particularly interesting. Bokuto seemed to hesitate, but left quietly after failing to meet Akaashi’s green eyes yet again. Akaashi could see Bokuto’s retreating steps, white slides flicking against his fuzzy socks, and his eyes burned. Despite his attempts to blink the tears away, they flowed past his lashes and traced their path down his cheeks.

He finally looked up. Bokuto’s back. Hunched and walking away. Akaashi couldn’t let this be his last sight of Bokuto. His feet took off in a run, chasing after the retreating figure. Alerted by the thundering steps, Bokuto turned around just in time before Akaashi crashed into his embrace, burying his face into Bokuto’s shoulder. His slender arms wrapped around Bokuto’s waist and held on, keeping their distance close for just a bit longer, before Bokuto would go somewhere beyond his reach. Bokuto felt his hoodie moisten, and squeezed Akaashi in return. He let out a weak chuckle, “What’s wrong, Akaashi? Don’t cry.”

Akaashi never loved his name, but coming from Bokuto, he would gladly listen to the sound of it over and over. He shook his head, as if there was a point in denying the tears that soaked Bokuto’s sweater, and finally found the courage to look up. He could barely make out Bokuto’s features with his blurry vision, but his face, angular yet soft, was still dazzling and beautiful. The early morning rays reflected from his golden eyes, creased with concern and care. Akaashi had a million things he wanted to say, and Bokuto’s name was at the very top of the list. He wanted to keep calling out to him, feel the weight of the word in his mouth, the shape of the sounds as they curled from his tongue, but this could very well be the last time he says it to Bokuto himself. He had to make it count.

“Don’t forget about me, Bokuto-san.”

*******

Sitting in the stadium, Akaashi watched Bokuto from afar. The space between them had grown with the years, but even from the stands, Akaashi could feel Bokuto’s larger than life presence just as warmly as he did all those years ago, tucked in his arms, the taste of Pocari Sweat on his tongue.

“Bokuto… Beam!” the mass of MSBY fans cheered as Bokuto spiked, bursting through the opponent’s block. Akaashi smiled as he clapped along, joined by the thousands of new planets his star had pulled in.

It was foolish of him to worry if that night would be the last time he sees Bokuto’s light. After all, he was a star, through and through, and even if he was light years away, Akaashi could still bathe in his brilliance.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed :)) this was my first work so pls feel free to comment any feedback  
> i rly wanted it to be canon compliant but chpt 392 came out riGHT after i started this  
> this was originally inspired by [let's fall in love for the night](https://youtu.be/VaKzNtwPQxE) by finneas  
> you can also find me on twt [@getoworld](https://twitter.com/getoworld), feel free to tweet at me or dm any thoughts you have i would love to hear from you!!


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